Of Flighty Muses, Stampeding Hippopotami And Going Creatively Crazy

Dare To Be Crazy

You’ve probably experienced yourself already what a fickle thing the muse is. She pokes you constantly in the ribs, whispering parts of wonderful stories into your ear, only to hide away when you most need her. You’ve sat for hours and days, stuck on a scene, tied to that story, and wracked your brain until you reached the inevitable, heartbreaking conclusion –

Writer’s Block!

So how do you lure her out into the open again? Forget all the tips about structure, rituals, special surroundings and “simply writing.”

The muse is a little punk, a frail thing with neon colored hair held together by these silver gum wrappers, a crazy bitch who wears dirty blue jeans with holes in tandem with Louboutin heels, who turns off the alarm clock with a well-placed arrow and who uses her original Hemingway first print to prop up the old table on which she fucks the neighbor while she smokes weed. You’ll not impress her with a neat writing room and a lovely cup of tea.

Noticed something? Good.

What works for me, and reportedly for others, is to deviate from the usual questioning of “what if” and, instead, snatch the most unlikely things you come about.

Go For Crazy Yourself

Your main character, Jennifer, is sitting at the kitchen table with her boyfriend Toby? They’ve just argued because he missed their anniversary and now you can’t for the love of it find the way to move the scene from that depressing, static setting to the happy, romantic ever after you had planned?

Stop wracking your brain. Turn on the TV. Sounds crazy? Yes, but remember the muse. Try to find the first thing that you think doesn’t fit your story at all.

I just tried it, and as I still had a documentary channel running, the first thing I saw was a hippo. I scribbled that down, but I still had no success. So I switched one channel down.

Starfighters. Okay, I admit that I’m a bit of a documentary addict. Hippos and Starfighters. So far, so good.

Another channel down, I spotted a bare-chested chocolaty beauty dancing on a carnival wagon in Rio. This was perfect!

A hippo, a Starfighter and half-naked girls dancing on the carnival are to be my ingredients, and I’ll force them into the story, no matter if it makes sense.

Jennifer’s eyes shot open. A hippopotamus shot through the room, trampling the table on its way, and crashed out through the window that was now a door. A Starfighter thundered over the house in hot pursuit of the massive animal, and both Jennifer and Toby tried to duck under the table – if only it had still been there. As if on a signal, both jumped from their chairs and raced out of the house, through the splintered remains of the entrance door and onto the street. Toby rubbed his eyes. A carnival wagon slowly rolled down the road towards them, and on top of it danced the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Is This Stupid? Hell, Yes!

Now you have holes in the wall, a demolished kitchen, a rampaging hippopotamus, the Air Force in an uproar, a beautiful Brazilian dancer in the middle of a small town in the USA with no clue how she got there, and on top of all that, if you haven’t paid attention, most certainly a jealous girlfriend at hand. That last one is a chilling thought.

Let’s Try Something Completely Different

Well, not completely, but let’s at least tone it down some. Trampling hippos are neither native to the States nor very romantic. Romantic? Heart?

Let’s try this:

“You know,” Jennifer said, blinking away her tears, “it feels like hippo has trampled over my heart. I hate it! We used to have fun; we didn’t even need to talk to understand each other.”

Yes! A whole paragraph! So, the Starfighter. Can we use it for another metaphor? Hm. They were renowned for crashing down – let’s not care about how warranted that was. But how to work them into the story. Only someone with a bit of an airplane fetish would talk about Starfighters in such a situation. Or someone who knows one like that.

Toby chewed on his lip. “Grandpa once told me that his relationship with Gran is like a Starfighter. If it doesn’t touch down and get refueled often enough, it’ll crash.”

You think that’s both cheesy and horrible? I do too. Hell, Jennifer does as well.

Jennifer looked at him with wide eyes, unsure if she should laugh or cry. “That’s the silliest metaphor I’ve ever heard!”

Toby deflated. “You know how Grandpa is; it’s either aircrafts or fishing he talks about.”

You think this is going in circles? Nope, *insert evil giggle here* because here comes our last weapon:

“Or that time in ’72 when he visited the carnival in Rio,” Jennifer added with a small smile tugging up the corner of her mouth. “Do you really believe he rode on a wagon with ten half-naked samba dancers?”

Toby covered his face. “Don’t start with that. Gran still hits him every time he mentions it, even after forty years.”

“I’d like to see it.” Suddenly, Toby’s misstep didn’t appear as big anymore.

“What?” He asked. “You want to see Gran hit him or Grandpa with ten…”

“The carnival! God, you’re such a pervert!”

“Hey, just having you on.” He couldn’t stop from chuckling at her outrage. “I’d like to go there, one day,” he told her, his voice now quieter, “with you. There and to other places.”

Jennifer froze. A part of her wanted to stay mad at him, but another part caved under his nervous, hopeful look. “I’d like that too,” she whispered, and then he was suddenly next to her, pulling her up into his arms, and her lips parted eagerly for his.

Yes! We Did It!

See, it wasn’t that hard. This is no guaranteed recipe to cure writer’s block, but more often than not, you’ll find writing a chore when the muse hides. Going crazy will help you come up with ideas that are outrageous enough to make you smile. When you smile, you have fun, and when you have fun, it’s not a chore anymore.

I hope you could take something from my ramblings.

Now please excuse me, as I’ve got a story to write about a punk girl who owns Louboutin heels and a Hemingway first print. I’m still not completely ruling out hippopotami.

Staying With Erin - Another series brought full circle! Yay!

Today's the last day of my holidays, so I'm really happy that I finally finished the last chapter of my erotic novel Staying With Erin.

When eighteen-year-old Paisy's parents go abroad, she sneaks out in the night and runs away to live with her friend Erin, whom she had met in an internet chatroom, in her rented room at a farm in Louisianna. Little did she know that Erin and her landlady Bridget have a wicked sexual relationship and are all too eager to draw her into their world of sex and kinks. Constant nudity and pankings are just the tip of the iceberg, but Paisy can't extricate herself from the sexual thrill and takes part in more and more kinky games.

Click here to read the full novel of 42,500 words for free at Lush!

Teutonic Temptation is online!

A Teutonic Temptation has hit the front page at Lush, yay!

The story grew to more than 9,000 words, a sweet and romantic but also scorching hot and naughty tale of seduction. Working with Katie has been a blast, and we're both sure that this hasn't been our last writing collaboration.

Follow Katie and Chrissie on their holiday in a romatnic spa retreat set amidst a snowy landscape of fairytale castles, and watch tentative seduction overcome insecurities, then lead to steaming, sexy fun.

Click here to read the full novelette at Lush.

Have fun reading!

Sneak Peek at my Collaboration

I'm all hyper! Our collaboration piece is going along wonderfully, and working with KatieElizabeth isn't just inspiring and fun, it's sexy as hell!

We're more than halfway into the story now, which is told from alternativing perspectives, and things are really heating up. To tide you over until it's ready for release, here's a short snipped from my latest part:

...I felt like floating on clouds. I still did, half an hour later when made our way back to our rooms, after what was now open, heavy flirting by both of us. I contemplated ravishing her lips, but settled for a sweet kiss to the corner of her mouth to say goodnight and failed to hide my trembling sigh.

The moment that my room’s door closed behind me, I couldn’t wait to get out of my clothes. Trembling fingers nestled with the dress until I got it loose and simply let it drop onto the floor. My bra flew through the room, then my soaked panties followed. I plopped onto the bed and pulled my shoes and stockings off. That buzz between my thighs had turned into a maelstrom. My lust dripped in thick rivulets down my thighs. The fire in my pussy needed quenching, but not here or I’d make a veritable mess.

I raced into the bath, and with a wicked grin pulled my ‘best friend’ I’d called Pinkie from the pocket in my toilet bag, my pink, smooth, shiny toy, as long as my hand and two fingers wide. The bricked walk-in shower was a dream, and soon a soft, warm rain fell from above. I leaned against the tiles and bit my lip. Pinkie buzzed to life.

“Katie,” I softly moaned her named...

Stay tuned! And meanwhile, don't forget to check out KatieElizabeth's wonderfully sexy stories!

I'm doing a collaboration

Yes, it's the first time (okay, the second time I started one, but that fell short early due to life being a bitch) that I'm working together with another author on a story. I managed to rope the lovely and talented KatieElizabeth into creating a sapphic seduction tale together with me, and we're both having an absolute blast.

A lot of credits for the story outline and perfect planning go to her. She's a veritable well of creative energy and one of the sweetest people I've ever gotten to know.

If you haven't read her works, you can find them all at her author page at Lush.

I don't want to give away too much ahead of time. Our main characters, incidentally named Katie and Chrissie, both end up at a lovely hotel in the south of Bavaria over a long winter weekend without company. Soon, sparks begin to fly and mutual attraction runs its course. I don't think I'm promising too much when I say that you'll find both wonderfully romatic scenes of tentative seduction and steamy, naughty fun that makes your skin prickle all over.

It's going to be a teasing tale, but never a dull one. It shouldn't be too long, so stay tuned!